step back and gather your thoughts

When things seem to be all over the place, and you find yourself getting sucked into all different aspects of business and life generally, it’s time to step back and reassess.

By mid december, that was the state meenal and i were in and we decided to take a holiday and have a complete break from everything. We went to Mauritius, what better place to gather your thoughts. While there, I woke up every day and meditated for about an hour. In the process I was able to really gather my thoughts, highlight what was and wasn’t working, and decide how to proceed.

By now, Tonic was losing it’s appeal. While we both still loved the concept, the fact was that for the time and effort that was going into it, there was no return at all, and very little light on the horizon. At the same time Abbey was moving forward. I managed to secure the mezzanine funding for it in days and managed to convince the bank to lend us what we needed too. I realised that I was actually good at that. When Abbey started it would take up some time, and it would be more fun to find other projects like that. Investors were crying out for good things to invest in, and I had the ability to bring them together with good opportunities, which I enjoyed searching for and analysing. At the same time, I was enjoying work (I remembered how much I actually did enjoy it after a few days of being there) and I loved working with such sharp people in a fast environment. In short, I didn’t have the patience any more for Tonic, and I didn’t want to keep pumping in time and energy into a business that really didn’t look like it was going to break even any time soon. In the long run it probably could have worked but it would take so much time and effort that all my other ventures would suffer. Also TFL were looking like they were not going to come down to the rent level we needed. They agreed to some initial discounts, but being the stupid people they were they imposed conditions – like I had to sign a personal guarantee. Why on earth would I do that, and specially for only a small discount on the rent!?? The problem was I was dealing with stupid people. While they wanted me to sign a personal guarantee, they were not willing to accept the fact that I could walk away from the business at any time as it was set up in a limited company. They thought they could still pursue me for unpaid rent (but then why they wanted PG I have no idea!) Anyway, they were starting to annoy me...they did not believe that the unit would remain empty if I vacated it, despite the fact that there were two other empty units in the station.

So during this holiday, in the midst of my deep meditation, I decided I’d spent enough time and money on this project and it was time to end it. That one clear decision was like a huge awakening and weight off my shoulder. It was only then that I realised just how much of my emotional energy was also being sucked into the business. Meenal also agreed that it was probably time to throw in the towel. Neither of us regretting the time and money spent on tonic, it was an experience and sometimes if you don’t try you’ll never know. So by the time I returned from Mauritius, I was completely relaxed and had a clear plan to work with.