Life is short – take the time to enjoy it

December has not been a good month. Mum had not been well for quite a while, and she had been deteriorating very rapidly since she was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years ago. She was always quite tough when it came to fighting illness and she was determined to fight this one. However despite going into the first round of chemo with absolute determination, the whole process absolutely hammered her and she got steadily worse. Around mid-december she went into hospital and while I thought that she would be out soon after (she has been in and out a few times over the past few years) something about this time just seemed different. The doctors kept saying that these were probably her last few days, but we couldn’t understand that, given that we’d seen her in that state before and she’d always been fine a few days later. But something made us stay there round the clock, like we didn’t want her to be on her own in case something happened, or she needed something. We were all really tired because of this and weren’t sleeping very well. But loads of family were visiting constantly and they all bought food, so that kept us going. When she passed away, all her family were around her (and we’re talking lots of extended family too). She was obviously so loved because of the kind of person she was, she was always so giving. Following her passing, there was two weeks of mourning and ceremonies at home. Needless to say it was a very emotional time and all of this really put life into perspective and during the daily prayers I had time to finally reflect on life and what it meant.

Since nobody that I was actually close to or saw on a regular basis has ever passed away before, this was probably the first time I realised what life meant and the fact that death is a reality. Therefore what’s the point of not living the life that you want. You’re going to be dead anyway at some point, so you can either enjoy your life doing what makes you happy, or you can spend your whole life doing what other people expect you to do. We spend so much of our lives running around meeting the expectations of others, that we forget to breath, to enjoy the journey. I’m talking about fitting in big family commitments (we’re always yoyo-ing back and forth from where we live to where my parents and other family live), social commitments, work, business, exercise, downtime, and actually enjoying life amongst all this. I know those things should not seem like a chore, but when you have very little time to yourself everything else becomes a chore, something you have to do. And if you don’t do it you’re walking around feeling guilty, and therefore not enjoying whatever else you’re doing. Anyone from an Indian family will understand what I’m talking about.

Anyway the conclusion I came to was that we need to take control of our lives again. Identify what we want and what’s important, and then prioritise those things even if it means that we’ll miss numerous events. As people get used to the fact that we’re not attending everything, they’ll accept it and in fact it will be more enjoyable when we do attend. Something I learnt from the Art of Living is that whatever you do, enjoy it fully and be in the moment. Don’t think about other things and have 100% focus. When you attend a social or family event out of a sense of obligation, and if you would rather be doing something else or getting some time to yourself even, then there is no point in going. That way, when you do attend such events you might actually feel positive about it and want to be there and actually enjoy it! Now this does not mean being selfish. It’s about prioritising and assessing how important it is for you to be somewhere. The reason that Meenal and I were so healthy and happy in New York was because we had downtime – we had time to ourselves and time with each other. We actually got to experience the city we were living in, and take time to just be. In London everyone (as in our family/friends) is always rushing around and I think everyone forgets that life is a journey and you need to look around and take in the scenery as you go through it.

Ultimately life is about balance. Taking the time out for yourself will also give you time to unwind and take exercise and fresh air, ultimately improving your health and your life, which in turn will make you more successful in whatever you do and overall more happier. This then puts you in a better position to help others as needed and whole-heartedly be there for others, and have enough backup energy to deal with problems that will inevitably come up. Everyone’s a winner!! Everyone is happy!